Techniques in Handling People

In this writing, we’ll be discussing the three principles that are very helpful in influencing people, having them on your side, and making them want what you want. This writing is inspired by the book of Dale Carnegie ‘How to win friends and influence people.’

The first principle is to don’t criticize, condemn or complain. B.F. Skinner, the world-famous psychologist, proved through his experiments that an animal rewarded for good behavior will learn much more rapidly and retain what it learns far more effectively than an animal punished for bad behavior. Later studies have shown that the same applies to humans.

Let’s realize that criticisms are like homing pigeons. They always return home. If you criticize people they’re gonna fire back. So, instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Let’s try to figure out why they do what they do.

So, Don’t criticize, condemn or complain

The second principle is to give honest and sincere appreciation. Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human nature is ‘the desire to be important.’ Everybody likes a compliment. One of the profound principles of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.

So appreciation is important but at the same time avoiding flattery is very important. In the long run, flattery will do more harm than good. The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other is insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself. It is said that ‘Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.’

So, Give honest and sincere appreciation.

The third principle is to arouse in the other person an eager want. It is said that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. If you want to persuade somebody to do something. Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: ‘How can I make this person want to do it?’

The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. So the rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous advantage. He has little competition. So, the key is to think always in terms of other people’s points of view and see things from their angle — if you get that one thing out of this, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your career.

So, Arouse in the other person an eager want.

Thank and Love,

Zunair.